Friday, March 23, 2007

The Caleb

Son #1 often refers to himself in the third person, either as "the son" or "the Caleb". It's cute now, so we don't correct him. When he's older? I'll definitely say something because nothing is creepier than being hit on by a guy in a bar who refers to himself in the third person.

Moving on.

I took sons 1 and 2 with me to pick up the daughter from 4-H. One lady that we had not seen in a while tried to strike up a conversation with son #1.

Lady: Hi there! I haven't seen you in a while, what have you been up to?

Son: *SIGH* I still the Caleb.

And he turned and walked off.

He's lucky he's cute.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Pardon the mess

I'm in the painful process of attempting to learn web design. Things are likely to change at any moment and are VERY likely to be wonky. Hopefully I'll get it figured out soon.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Feelin the love

I feel special! I was mentioned in the latest edition of the Georgia Carnival. Who knew my mundane post about cleaning the house would catch someone's attention? Anyway, please go check out the Georgia Carnival at Bill's blog - Provocative Church - and take a look at all the other submissions. He put a lot of hard work into hosting this "carnival" thing (I don't know what else to call it). Anyway, it's neat to see what other Georgians are writing about, although I felt somewhat out of place when I noticed no one else was discussing farts. :)

Saturday, March 17, 2007

I decided to go on a safari today

Seemed fitting since my house is like a zoo. Here's the picture I had taken - the wildlife was AMAZING!



I even found my own pot of gold!

Close to home

Last week the disappearance of a six year old boy was announced. He lived in the next town over, so this story was particularly terrifying for me. My heart instantly went out to this child's parents. I couldn't even begin to imagine the terror and anguish this child's parents were feeling. Tragically, Christopher Michael Barrios Jr.'s body was found Thursday, March 15th. His body was found only three miles from his home.

Police have arrested four people in connection with Christopher's murder.
George Edenfield is the one actually charged with the homicide. He was a known sex offender. The other three people? George Edenfield's parents and a friend. These people KNEW George Edenfield had murdered this child. These people KNEW that hundreds of people were out looking for this child. Yet, they helped George Edenfield place this child's body in a fucking TRASH BAG and dump his body in the woods. Burning in hell would be too good for these people.

If there were a way, I'd make these people pay with more than a prison term. I'd find a way to experience the heartache Christopher's parents felt. I'd find a way to make them experience the pain and confusion Christopher must have felt, as only a six year old child can.

But I don't have that power. All I can do is pay tribute to Christopher here and hug my own children a little tighter tonight.


Rest in peace little Christopher. May your parents one day find peace also.

Thursday, March 8, 2007

Cleaning house

My mother-in-law announced last week that she'll be visiting this weekend. Well, she did ask if the dates were ok with us - she didn't say she was coming and there was nothing we can do about it.

Just thought I'd clear that up.

Anyway, when I learn that my MIL will be visiting, I have a moment of panic.

This woman's house is spotless - even when all three boy children lived at home her house was spotless. I am intimidated by her spotlessness.

My house has never been spotless. It's come close a few times, but I don't think I've ever achieved spotlessness.

MIL would never be so rude as to say anything about the state of our house, but I can't help but feel self conscious about her visit.

In anticipation of THE VISIT, I usually start cleaning a full week ahead of time, so I won't have to spend one entire day cleaning.

Yesterday I decided to try to clean our shower.

Our shower has been gross since we moved in. I've used nearly every bathroom cleaner known to man trying to get this shower clean. Nothing worked. So, I stopped trying. I mean, if you can't tell it's clean when it is clean, why bother cleaning? Make sense? Thought so.

I found this new cleaner and thought I'd give it a try. Could hurt, right? It turned out to be the miracle cleaner and I was so beyond thrilled to have found something that actually worked!

TWO HOURS LATER.....

Our shower was finally clean. It was so clean, my husband could tell a difference. (love you honey)

It's so sad that I got such a great sense of accomplishment from simply cleaning a bath tub/shower.

It's even sadder that I couldn't shut up about it when my husband got home.

Me: "Look honey! It's clean! Can you believe how clean it looks? I don't think it's been this clean since we've moved in."

Husband: "Hell, I don't think it's ever been that clean."

Good man.

He knows how to shut me up, all I need is a little recognition and I'll return to my corner.

Now, for the rest of the house....

Saturday, March 3, 2007

But wait! There's more!

Logan (the baby) still wakes up somewhere between 3 and 5 every morning to eat. In an effort to keep things dark, I only use the tv for light, with the sound turned down low. I don't want anything distracting the kid and keeping him up a minute more than he needs to scarf down his bottle and fall back asleep. So the other morning, I was subjected to staring at an infomercial for the Magic Bullet, because I can't reach for the remote for fear that the slightest movement might cause the kid to wake up. Mick (or Mike, I can't remember) and Mimi are the most annoying people on the planet but they whip up some impressive stuff in a small amount of time.

Have you seen this infomercial? I'd be soooo pissed if I were staying at someone's house and woke to a frickin sales presentation before I'd had my coffee. There'd be headless bodies abound, trust me.

I don't know if it was delirium or subliminal messages, but I almost found myself ordering this stupid thing because I could get TWO for the price of ONE! Everyone needs TWO magic bullets, don't they? Luckily, my extreme desire for a few more hours of sleep won that internal struggle and, I am proud to announce, I did NOT order any new kitchen appliances.

Is that how infomercials are so successful? The insomniacs are so out of their heads that anything sounds good? People are hawking ideas for goodness sake and they're making money, lots of money.

Since I'm trying to avoid cleaning the house and I've had too much coffee this morning, I've decided to write my own infomercial - tell me what you think:

Announcer: Ladies, are you tired of your kids hanging on you all day, only to have your husband come home and try to show you some affection? Mama Miga has developed a revolutionary plan to end this problem.

With tips such as:
  • Fart on your husband's nut sack during sex, or
  • Bribe your child with the promise of candy to poop on the toilet so he comes bursting in the bedroom while you're in the middle having sex asking you to wipe his butt and give him his candy.
We GUARANTEE that if you follow Mama Miga's plan, your husband will be so disgusted that you'll see immediate results - or we'll refund your money. Minus shipping and handling fees and a small restocking fee.

Susie Q:
I tried Mama Miga's program and was shocked with how fast I saw results. It's AMAZING! My husband hasn't tried to touch me in WEEKS!

Announcer: If you act today, we'll give you Mama Miga's "Alienation of Affection" plan for not $300, not $200, not $100 but for only four easy payments of $24.99. As a special bonus we'll also include Mama Miga's "Guide to Making Your Children do ALL the Housework While You Sip Margaritas and Chat on the Phone " for FREE!

Operators are standing by.

I'm going to be rich, I just know it.