*sigh*

Wow. Another year has come and gone.

Seems like it was only yesterday that I was the kid waiting for Christmas. When did I become the grown-up? How did that happen? I still feel like someone is going to come up to me in the store and ask me where my parents are, if I'm lost.

Some days it feels like I just woke up one morning in someone else's life. How did I get here? Whose children are these? Why do I have to pay bills, I'm not an adult.

Then days like today I get up and look back and feel every bit my age. I have a pre-teen daughter who thinks her friends having sex is cool. How do you handle THAT situation rationally? My first instinct is to lock her in her room and home school her forever.

To protect her from the real world.

But reason prevails.

Isn't it our experiences with real life that makes us into who we are? Over-protecting my child would only keep my child from becoming who she was meant to be.

I chose instead to educate her and let her make up her own mind.

Sex causes STDs, pregnancy. All it takes is one time.

Boys will have sex with you if you let them. But that won't make them love you.

Learn to love yourself.

(not like that)

(Although, that may not be a bad idea.....)


I'm so scared.

Dear God, please don't let my little girl get hurt.

I had no idea being a parent would hurt my heart so much.

I had no idea being a parent could make me feel like love is oozing out every pore of my skin.




I think I'm going to need therapy before it's all over. I can see it.

Why am I still here?

I've logged on several times to delete this blog completely, but I just can't seem to bring myself to do it. Like every other project I've ever started, I've let my writing fizzle out. I have at least a dozen uncompleted projects in my "craft area" - which has also become the dumping ground for miscellaneous household items. It seems the only thing I can finish these days is a book. Anyway, I slacked off on the writing because I didn't want to write about work (heard too many stories to want to risk that), too afraid to write about eccentric family members and I'm hardly around my kids to get good material to post.

Excuses, excuses.

The story of my life.

We took the kids to the shore today to take pictures for our Christmas card. Got home to find out I didn't get ANY good shots. So, do I go back tomorrow for re-takes, pick a new location that's a little closer to home or just forget it altogether?

See? I'll look for any excuse not to finish something....

I might let you know what I decide to do.

We'll see.