He's an efficient little Jedi

Logan: Mom! I killed all the Droids!

Me: Good job! Now go back outside and kill some more.

Logan: I can't. My work is done.

Another way to scar my children

It's time for the annual holiday card. We really aren't what you could call Christian. Our cards usually say "Happy Holidays" for several reasons:

1. Saying "happy holidays" covers Christmas, Hanukkah & New Year's and appeals to my lazy nature.
2. Saying "happy holidays" really bothers my relatives. They tend to think Christians are the only ones celebrating anything during this time of year and it really puts a bee in their bonnet to hear people say "happy holidays." I am just a tad passive-aggressive that way.

I had the children dress in cutesy matching outfits and we drove all over town trying to find a nice to place to take pictures and to get that perfect picture. It ended up being a big whine-fest and lots of threats were made.

Here are just a few of the best pictures:



Here they're whining the bench is uncomfortable. I may have threatened them with the alligator.

Here even the teenager didn't want to stand still. It's not like this was an all day photo session. I was able to go to three different locations in under 30 minutes.


Here I had the "bright" idea to wrap the kids in lights. The teenager flat out refused to participate. I think this picture is a prime candidate for AFP for sure.

This was the best picture by far and our prime candidate to put on the Christmas card. Until I saw this picture:


Oh yes I did. No other picture sums up my children like this picture. I even chose the card that said "Peace, Love & Joy". Nothing says Peace, Love & Joy like two annoying little brothers.

The way I see it, we have already scarred our children to the point where they won't come visit us when they're adults.

I can't say that I really blame them.

Happy Holidays everyone.

Hush yo mouth

Logan heard me mutter some obscenities under my breath this morning.

"Mom, you can't say shit."

"I know, I'm sorry. It's a bad word and I shouldn't have said it."

"You can say holy moly instead."

"Ok, I'll say holy moly next time."

"Only big boys can say shit. You have to say holy moly."

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. " - Lao Tsu

Weight has always been an issue for me. My father was/is morbidly obese, so as a teenager I was aware of every hunger pang that might possibly lead me to fatness. I even went so far as to purchase diet pills because I was so hungry all the time. Luckily, my grandmother made me throw them away.

Even at 105lbs, my grandmother commented on how fat my thighs were. After giving birth to my daughter, my grandfather commented for weeks on my weight. I lost all the weight within a few months, once I started back to work and going to college. It's like the weight just melted off. No effort was required.

Then, I got a better job. An office job. I worked my ass off while sitting on my ass. And the pounds started coming back. I was at 140 when I began to starve myself. I lost some weight and got back down to 125. I bragged to my grandmother and her reply was "I didn't know you weighed that much."

I finished my Associates Degree and we moved to Atlanta. The weight came back and I was back up to 140. I was walking and climbing stairs everyday to get to class at Georgia State, which is in downtown Atlanta. My weight didn't budge.

Then I got pregnant. When Caleb was born, I was at 175. I lost 20 lbs almost immediately. But then it came back. I was tied to the house with a baby who would scream if the wind blew across his face or head and he wouldn't let anyone other than his parents or sister near him. I ate to comfort myself because I was terribly lonely.

I got pregnant once again. By the time Logan joined us, I was at 197. Almost 100 pounds away from where I'd been as a teenager.

Anyway, I've lost some weight and gained it back. When I weighed myself in January I was back up to 198 - and this time I wasn't pregnant. I've heard the advice about lifestyle change and all that. But now, I finally get it. We planted a vegetable garden with some friends. This garden required a lot of work almost every single day. It was hard work too. I've never done physical labor like gardening.

Working in the garden got me off the couch and now that the garden is pretty much done for the year, I'm restless. So, I've decided to get back into doing 5K fundraisers. I've always walked(crawled) but now I want to actually run the whole way. I started the Couch to 5K program last week. I am so proud of myself when I complete a day. Today is an off day for me, and I actually miss running (trying to follow the plan and not overdo it) so I decided to do a little workout with the WiiFit to help stretch me out. Never in a million years did I think I'd say I miss running.

As far as diet, I've completely cut out diet sodas and sweet tea. Other than the occasional glass of milk, I only drink water. I typically hate water, but you get used to it - eventually. Our mayo is cholesterol free, our cheese is fat free. We eat only whole wheat bread and absolutely no high fructose corn syrup. Thanks to our hard work, we have plenty of vegetables to eat too.

The point to all this rambling? I've lost 26 pounds since January. Today I weighed in at 172. Yay me! I still have about 30 more pounds to go before I'm at a healthy weight for my height, but my goal is to lose another 50. I have a small frame and really look better when I'm in the 120s.

Oh lord. Time to go referee the boys again. I'm so glad school starts back next week.

ONOMATOPOEIA - just because it's fun to say.

Caleb: " Mom, you need a catchphrase."

Me: "I do? I thought I had a lot of catchphrases. Stuff like: Get off that bookshelf. Get off your brother. Stop pinching your sister's butt. What do you think it should be?"

Logan: "WAZAAM!!!" (said with much enthusiasm and waving arms wildly)

Me: "Wazaam it is."