Saturday, February 24, 2007

Scarring my kids for life


Destroying the play room is hard work for a three year old boy. Like Pend said last month, my kids are going to end up on Oprah talking about me.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

I'm on the edge maaaannnn

In my current quest to lose weight, I've succumbed to the propaganda aimed at millions of desperate women and bought myself some of those oh so convenient freezer meals. I figure it'd help me to eat a little healthier without having to resort to cottage cheese and rice cakes. I'm pretty sure that I have tried every single brand and I have (mostly) settled on a brand that most suits my picky-ass palate. All that being said, I heated up one of my trusty little meals the other night - forgoing the chicken nuggets the kids were eating. I carefully selected my entree' with hopes that my hunger would be adequately satisfied. The brand I've come to love has, for the most part, fairly represented their product's appearance and portion size with a lovely picture on the carton.

Until this weekend.


This is what I chose:




Look carefully at that picture. I can count at least eight little ravioli.

This - is what I got.




That's right. Four and one half ravioli. Bastards! How dare they mess with me in my hunger-induced fragile state?!

Maybe I'll have a bitch fit AND write a letter.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Your Mama Don't Dance

And neither do I. As described in a previous post, I lack that certain grace it takes to walk across the room so I gave up trying to dance a long time ago. It's sad because I love music and dancing fascinates me but I know that dancing isn't my thing and I'm ok with that. I am perfectly content to keep my behind parked in a chair when I go to clubs or weddings. When no one is looking, I will occasionally dance with the kids when we're being silly but even my best efforts end up looking like this guy's version of "washing the laundry"


Via: VideoSift

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Weekend Stuff

My mother-in-law has started a "thing" with the kids where she sends them a little activity every few weeks. This week they got a package with directions for making chocolate covered cookie lollipops. After we were done making the lollipops, Julia and the husband went to the Father/Daughter Valentine's dance at her school. Instead of emailing family individual pictures, I just created a photoshow to make for easier viewing. Anyway, I thought I'd share the photoshow with you guys. Be sure to notice how wonderfully dressed the kids are and how spectacularly clean the house is. Enjoy...


**video removed to get rid of the annoying music**

Thursday, February 8, 2007

Karma is....

Stepping in your own gum that you spit out in the yard two days ago.

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Want some cheese with that whine?

By nature, I'm not a social person. I freeze up when I'm in group situations and I do my best to blend into the walls. If I have to walk across a room full of people and someone laughs, a little voice deep down tries to convince me that they're laughing at me. It's completely arrogant to think that people think about me that much, but it happens every single time. Oh yeah, when I am faced with conflict I usually stutter and stammer, only to come up with an intelligent response 2 hours later.

I don't "do" church, mom groups and things of that nature. We have been in our little town for over two years and (no joke) I haven't made a single friend. I just don't fit it in - mainly because I'm not racist, homophobic, conservative, Christian or strictly Republican.

My closest friend lives 4 hours away and we only talk on the phone about once a month and we only see each other maybe 3 times a year. Usually I am content to sit at home with my equally hermit husband and watch movies or read (we'd really love to travel, but that costs money and we're kinda low on that right now). Content that is, until I hit that emotional wall. You know the one I'm talking about, right?

It happens when I've kept everything bottled up and I give and give without ever getting anything in return emotionally. I don't expect anyone to make me happy, it's just frustrating when I can't get a few moments to myself to just clear my mind. When I hit my wall, I become a raging bitch for a few days until I've relieved enough pressure to act "normal" again. I will generally hide in the computer room as much as I possible so I can try to avoid unnecessarily yelling at the kids for just being kids.

So, I hit "the wall" again yesterday. I was so mean my husband brought me a bottle of wine last night. He said he had to bring home some sort of a peace offering. Now I feel like a total ass.

My problem this time is that I'm struggling with insecurities of not being able to find a job, when it's always been easy for me. I'm struggling with being the fattest I've ever been in my life, even though I've never truly been happy with my body - even when I was a size 3. I miss my husband. He lost his job 3 weeks before the baby was born and has had to take a (much) lower paying job that keeps him away from home until late at night. The kids miss him and I miss him and he misses us. I want time alone with my husband - we haven't been off together in over four YEARS. I'm worried about our finances. I'm sick of being stuck at home because we're back down to one vehicle. I'm trying to finish school and am having a hard time concentrating. I feel guilty because we can't afford preschool for Caleb anymore and he's stuck at home with a mom who doesn't have a clue about how to teach him. It just goes on and on and on.

It's times like this when I secretly wish I was more social and broad network of friends to distract me. But isn't that a selfish reason to make "friends"? I think I just need a break. That's all, just a break. Then I'll get back to doing what everyone else does on a daily basis and quit trying to be such a martyr.

Ah well, it's only three hours til bedtime, then I can crack open the bottle of wine (making sure I mangle the cork as I always do) and watch trash tv. In the meantime, maybe a brownie will help lighten my mood. It sure won't help lighten the scales, but it might help my mood a little ;)

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Caleb-isms

"Mom, what's your favorite color?"

"Hmmmmm, I think I like green the best. What's your favorite color?"

"Orange. And I like Blue too!"

"Those are some pretty cool colors."

5 minutes later.....

"Mom, what's your favorite color?"

"I think I still like green. What's your favorite color?"

"hmmmmmm. My favorite color is BACON!"

"Your father would be so proud."